Who I Was Today...

There is the person I am and the woman I want to be. Two completely different places at the same time and conflicted as usual. More and more lately I wonder how much happier I would be if all I wanted was was a good job and benefits and actually had both things. Usually the thought process follows with I hate my job and I can't believe this is where I am in my life. Excuse me, I am at the moment, down. The only thing checked off on my to do list for today is the easiest thing of them all and really hasn't a thing to do starting this wonderful magazine that a bunch of people I don't know will read and like. Funny thing is earlier I was so high, a friend hooked me up with a paying gig, (playing photographer for a new website/blog), I had started looking up images and mapping out this new fashion story for Noir Woman (I am a contributing writer there, unpaid) I discovered the photos above, a friend solicited my expertise and wants me to be her stylist, and I had just realized that Jay-Z was on the cover of the current issue of Rolling Stone and somehow I let the time slip away without accomplishing much else or even finishing what I started. Only excuse, today I started my period, and I have PMDD and A.D.D., Oh well tomorrow is a new day. But for the remaining minutes of this day I question who my friends see me as. Which of the three images is how I see me, how you see me and how I'd like to be? I just know there won't be a consistent answer to this... 11:53p.m.